If this is what love looks like
by Dutchy1992
Summary: This story is about how I thought Emma would experience her first time with Hook. Nothing to graphic. Probable going to be 4 or 5 short chapters. Please let me know what you think!
1. Chapter 1

'Because everyone I've ever been with is dead!' I yell. Killian looks startled, clearly wanting me to go on. 'Neal, Graham, even Walsh. I can't... I can't loose you too', I say. I try to hide my fears but ever since we met, Killian can read me like nobody can. His face relaxes a little and a small smile that is so Killian appears on his lips.

'Well, love, you don't have to worry about me', he says before his face turns serious again, 'if there's one thing I'm good at... it's surviving.' I don't know what it is about him that makes me believe whatever he says but I do. I believe him.

We stare into eachothers eyes before he closes the distance between us and kisses me. Immediatly I respond. I feel his hand go under my jacket and his hook is on my hip. I feel his toungue on my bottom lip and grand him access. Slowly our toungues meet and dance around each other. The kiss is filled with love and comfort. So much so that I feel a couple of tears sliding down my cheeks. Killian obviously feels them because when he pulls back he gathers me in his arms immediatly.

'Don't be ashamed to share your feelings with me, love. I'll always listen', he whispers. All I can do is nod against his neck.

'Killian?' I whisper against his neck. He pulls me out of his embrace carefully.

'Yes, love?' He says as he wipes the tears away. I duck my head a little.

'Make love to me', the request comes in a whisper so soft I hardly hear it. Killian raises my chin with his hook and kisses me deeply.

'Come with me, love', he says. We walk back to Granny's but go around back. Without being in a hurry we make our way to his room.

He comes close to me when he locks the door. Ever so slowly he kisses me. Full of passion and without any hurry. We kiss for a long time before he begins to unbotton my shirt. Before he removes it he looks at me.

'Are you sure?' He asks. I kiss him with a little more urgency to show him my answer. We take our time undressing each other and getting to know every part of each other. It feels like forever before we finally fall onto the bed together.

For hours we get to know every inch of exposed skin of each other. And I've never felt more at ease during sex. For the very first time, it doesn't hurt. For the first time I feel like the most important person in the world. And Killian does that to me.

After a really long time we're both coming down from our orgasms. It never felt this good. We're both trying to catch our breaths when he pulls out of me slowly and lays down beside me. Immediatly gathering me in his arms.

'Thank you', I whisper without thinking. Who thanks someone after sex?

'What for, love?' He asks as he strokes my cheek.

'Showing me what making love is.' I look up at him with teary eyes. He smiles and kisses me on my forehead before pulling me close.

'Get some sleep, Emma.' I press my lips against his chest and close my eyes. Almost instantly falling asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

It's still dark when I wake up. For a moment I'm shocked to realise that I'm lying in bed naked next to Killian. But then it all comes back to me. The amazing night we spend together comes rushing back to me. I close my eyes and breath in his scent. Killian is sound asleep, softly snoring and holding me tight. I'm too wrapped up in my thoughts to go back to sleep. Gently I play with the hairs on his chest reliving every loving moment from last night.

'Well, love, I've gotta say... I've had worse things to wake me', he says grinning.

'Didn't mean to wake you, sorry', I say smiling. He kisses me softly and for a moment I think he's ready to repeat last night. But all he does is hold me close. And for the first time it's perfectly fine with me.

'Why did you thank me?' He asks after a while.

'For showing me what making love is. I already said that', I whisper back. He moves down on the bed a little so he's at my level.

'There's more to it, isn't there?' I start to feel shy and look down a little. He, as always, picks up on it. 'Don't be embarresed, love.' I look back up at him and meet his eyes.

'It just never felt like this', I admit.

'Like what?'

'Good. Amazing, even. Safe and comfortable.'

'Talk to me, Emma. You can tell me.' I sigh and lean my forehead against his so that I just have to whisper.

'It never felt this good. Nobody ever took this much time for me. Not Neal, not Walsh. I've just had one night stands. I never stayed the night. Foster care wasn't pretty and I don't want to get into the details but let's just say men have a sick taste in young girls. After that I've always been nervous and scared.'

'Why didn't you say something. I would've been more careful', he says worried.

'More careful?' I say with a slight smile. 'Killian, you are the first man to show me love. This was the first time it didn't hurt', I admit shyly.

'You didn't deserve what happened to you. And you deserved a man to show you what making love is. And it's making me sad to thing that this was the first time it felt good for you.' There are a few tears making it's way down my cheecks.

'This felt like it was my first time', I admit in a really soft whisper.

'And was it worth it?' He asks grinning. I start to laugh at the tone of his voice.

'Still a pirate', I joke before turning serious again, 'but yeah, it really was.'

'I'm glad', he says before kissing me. And again he doesn't push me to go further. Even though we're both still naked and I can feel his arousel against my leg. It's not that I don't want to. I just want to remember last night a little while longer.

'Do you want to take a shower together?' He asks. I nod. 'Come on then.' He holds out his hand and pulls me up. We quickly walk towards the bathroom. When the water is warm we get in. Killian pulls me against his chest as the water streams over our bodies. After hair is wet he bends down to grab the shampoo bottle. Knowing he only has one hand and no hook I take the bottle from him.

'I'll help', I say gently. He holds out his hand and I squeeze the soap in his hand. As good as he can do it he washes my hair. Everything he does is so soft, so sweet that I suddenly start to cry as he rinses my hair.

'Emma?'

'Sorry', I say hoarsly. He holds me close, rubbing slow, gentle circles on my back.

'What's wrong, love?' He whispers in my ear.

'I feel loved', I say softly and look up at him.

'That is because you are, Emma.' Again he kisses me. 'And don't ever apologize for crying or your feelings. Everyone deserves someone to show their feelings to. And I will gladly be yours.'

After I calm down we wash up and get out of the shower. When I look at the clock I see we've been in the shower for at least 30 minutes. And I'm completely fine with it. But as I'm getting dressed something hits me. My parents are going to kill me.


	3. Chapter 3

'I need to go home', I say and hurry to gather all my things. Of course Killian is confused.

'Why the rush, lass?'

'Because my parents are going to kill me! I didn't come home all night and I didn't even text them!' I yell paniced. So this is what it feels like to about to be grounded by your parents. I assume.

'It's still dark, maybe they didn't notice', he says hopefully, knowing extremely well that if they find out I spend the night with him he'd be in big trouble. And if they find out I had sex with Killian Jones, I'm pretty sure David would kill him

'Killian...', I say before I leave the room.

'Yes, love?' And suddenly I'm at a loss of what to say.

'I...', instead of saying something I lean in and kiss him softly. One last look into his blue eyes and then I leave. As quickly as I can I run home.

29 years old and experiencing what a 16 year old goes through. In record time I reach the loft. Quietly I rush up the stairs to the front door. I listen for any sound of movement before I open it. The loft is dark and I sigh. I rush towards the stairs and am about to send a quiet thank you to...

'Where do you think you're going', I hear my mother say sternly. She turns on the lights and I turn around.

'To bed?'

'I don't think so. Get down here, now', Mary Margaret is in mother mode. Absolute mother mode. And I am so screwed. 'Where were you?' I think about lying but I already know she knows exactly where I was.

'With Killian', I use his real name to make it sound less... I don't know, less bad, maybe.

'With Hook, huh? Why is your hair wet?' Shit...

'I took a shower', I answer sheepishly. God, I feel 16.

'Why did you need to shower there?' Please someone make this stop!

'We watched a movie in his room and I feel asleep. He woke me up about an hour ago because I have to be at the station later and he said I could shower there so I wouldn't have to do it at home', I lie.

'I saw you two make out on the street, Emma Swan. Do not lie to me. I know exactly what you did with Hook. So you don't need say it. I know you're an adult and can make your own discisions but you still live with us. We were worried! You could've sent a text. At least to let us know you wouldn't come home! I convinced your father that you just needed a little space but he will find out eventually', I cringe at the thought. It's bad enough my mother already knows what I did with Killian but my dad...

'Wow, you're really getting the hang of being a stern mother, aren't you?' I try to lighten the conversation. Clearly it doesn't work.

'Go to your room and change. It's already 5.30 am so don't bother going back to sleep. We're not finished with this, okay', she says with a final glare. I nod and run up the stairs. That was mortifying.

I take a long time to get dressed and to fix my hair. Is around 6.30 am when I get downstairs. Mary Margaret is in the kitchen making breakfast. David is in the shower so I decide to talk to Mary Margaret for a minute.

'Ma... mom?' I go with mom because she was definately my mother just now. She turns around and crosses her arms. 'I'm really sorry about everything. I know I should've texted you but everything just kind of happened.' She stares at me before she sighs.

'I know you're an adult, Emma. I know you're having sex. I just... you will always be my little girl and I just got to be your mom and I still have to get used to everything. I wanted to be your mom for so long. Now I get to be one and you're already grown', she says with tears in her eyes. 'It's just... when you didn't come home I freaked. I assume it feels like sending your daughter off to a prom or ball knowing she could be going home with a boy.'

'You are my mom, okay. And I am sorry I didn't come home', I say softly.

'It's okay, Emma. Maybe I overreacted a little. You are grown...', I cut her off before she can say IT again.

'Don't say it, okay. I know what you mean. Next time I'll send you a text even if it's the middle of the night. Let's leave it at that for now before David comes...'

'Where have you been!' David shouts.

'...in.'


End file.
